Nobody told me there'd be days like this

Sometimes you wonder why you bother with plans.

Yesterday afternoon for instance, I'd gone to Carphone Warehouse to buy another mobile phone like the fancy pink one i'd bought Suzanne the day before, this time Jodie wanted one, but in black, handed over the cash (not bloody cheap either, two in two days and they already had handsets that I'd got on the business contract, but those ones weren't pink or shiny black) - took home Jodies handset, plugged it in and it wouldn't start up.

Messed with it for a while then decided to take it back to Carphone Warehouse, 20 minutes later and the young guy is telling me to charge it overnight and then try it again, he then went into a non-technical explanation of how mobile phone batteries work, something about particles all stacking up nicely and the phone talking to them properly, I think he was drunk, or maybe it was me that was drunk...

This morning, the handset is still knackered, so back to Carphone Warehouse where to their credit they finally changed the handset - 11am on my day off and I'd got back to where I should have been the day before with one daughter happy on her new mobile phone.

Then they decided to go to the cinema to see "Chronicles of Narnia".

The large multiplex in Kirkstall is about 20 mins drive away on a quiet day, today was a snow day and so fekkwit drivers everywhere were out trying to drive as slow as they could in the extremely light dusting of snow that we'd had, it was actually a very nice snow day, not enough snow on the ground to even measure to any sort of depth, just one snow flake depth really, but just enough to make everything white and it was still falling out of the sky so it looked nice and pretty, but the new stuff coming down wasn't settling, it was snow like the false snow you see on a TV production set when they film in the middle of July.

So they were ready to go at 1.30pm for the film that was showing at 1.45pm, we'd obviously be late, but I'd checked with Loz, a hobbit-like person of my aquaintance who works at the cinema and who had assured me that it was "dead quiet this week, no queues or nothing".

We got there at 1.50pm to find about four hundred people in the queue in front of us and while I cursed Loz in my head I explained to the females of my family that it was pointless queueing as we were already late, they explained back that there was another showing on another screen at 2.45pm so we'd go for something to eat now instead of going later like we'd planned - I didn't want to eat now, I wanted to eat after the film so we had this to-and-fro discussion out in the cold car park until of course they won, they always do, I don't know why I argue with them because they always win, but its traditional.

Walked across the car park to Pizza Hut where we were welcomed with a queue of approx eight hundred people all waiting for a table, there was plenty of tables to be had but only one young and confused waitress to position people at said tables and then serve them.

I don't do queues and walked away shaking my head, Suzanne and Jodie followed, berating me as usual, all to no avail. We sat in the car for a while considering the options and arrived at plan B, a small local cinema, the Cottage Road Cinema, closer to where we lived but less popular as its 80 years old and looks like its 80 years old instead of being big and new and multi-screened and over-populated like the one we were sat outside.

Drove to the Cottage Road to find that it too was showing Narnia on its one screen also at 2.45pm and then quickly realised why the Cottage Road is not so popular as the multiscreen - it has no parking facilities. Couldn't find any on street parking within eight miles of the Cottage Road cinema and all things being equal I said I'd prefer the big comfy seats in the multiplex.

We drove back to the multiplex.

Parked up in the massive free car park and joined a shorter queue this time in good time for the 2.45pm screening.

It was then that I noticed the FULL sign against the Narnia 2.45pm showing.

That was good enough for me, I was totally pissed off by now and not saying anything just walked out of the cinema and back to the car but on the way back home the constant nagging from the females convinced me to return once again to the Cottage Road Cinema - I stopped the car at the entrance and as they got out told them to ring me when it finished - fait acomplis, they stood there on the pavement and watched as I sped away into the distance.

They said afterwards that the film was very good, better than Kong even, I will have to reserve my judgement until it appears on pay TV - and I found out later on this afternoon that Loz the Hobbit doesn't work at that multiplex, but at a different one in the centre of Leeds, which saves me having to kick his arse for him.