Return to the pink lozenge

...and so today I returned bright and early to the ever-so-pink dentists chair that resembles a huge throat lozenge, 8.40am my appointment was this morning, eight bloody forty, and someone else was getting drilled in front of me, I think this dentist is getting a little too greedy sometimes.

Today was supposed to be the day when he fitted the new crown to the root that he's been drilling away at for the last two visits, the good news is that the temporary crown that he fitted two weeks ago stayed stuck in this time, the bad news is that when he looked at the root and the gum he thought that another infection site had flared up, which was disappointing for him as he's been treating an infection in the root during the last two visits, but not so disappointing for me as I didn't have the money to pay for the new crown today (£520), god knows what I'd have done if he'd gone ahead and fitted it without asking.

So he decides that there must be another root to this tooth, a sort of branch line that goes in a different direction and when he gets the x-ray out he thinks he can see where this other root goes. I chip in at that point and remember that the last dentist had a bugger of a job stopping it bleeding when he did the last lot of root canal work and the current dentist sort of nods in a "that'll explain it" sort of way.

So he goes back in there and drills for a bit and then squirts gallons of water up the root until he finally declares that he thinks he can see the branch line turn-off, its all good stuff, a bit like following Arnie Sachnusum in Jules Vernes "Journey to the Centre of the Earth", and the dentist gets his glue and filler out and startes stuffing the branch line full of gunge.

Even though my mouth and face were completely numb at this point I could tell he was pressing really hard to get the filling up the branch line and finally with an "Ah-ha" he steps back and looks pleased with himself.

"I was right " he declares, "its another root cavity, and it leads right to the new infection point" and without stopping for me to ask why he is so sure he continues "because I can see the filling coming out of your gum now"

I'm sure he knows what he's doing but the thought that I've now had my gums filled as well as the tooth roots strikes me as a little odd, but he's dead chuffed now and steps back and declares his work done for the day, I go back again next monday for an assesment and if the infection has gone then he'll book me in for the crown fitting, so I've got the temporary crown in again, temporarily glued into place.

The best news is that there was no charge for this weeks treatment, I can't help but think they've made a mistake and I'll cop for a double bill the next time, but that is all for the future, if I die tomorrow I've fiddled him :) but my mouth is as sore as buggery now that the anesthetic has worn off, I may go home and play the injured soldier soon.

Oh yes, one more thing - in his new hi-tech waiting room that looks like an avent-garde furniture showroom he has a flat screen TV on the wall which is usually playing toothpaste adverts, this morning though it was showing an episode of Fawlty Towers, the one where Murphy the builder gets a large gnome stuffed up his arse, I managed to catch about ten minutes of it before I went to the pink lozenge but when I came back out it was toothpaste ads again.