Its all just numbers to me...

Gordon Brown announced his budget for the next year at lunchtime today, I watched it on TV in the office.

I haven't a clue what he was talking about.

ITV very kindly summarised the salient points at the bottom of the screen as he waffled on, they needn't have bothered for me as I still didn't understand what on earth this man was saying.

He seems like a half decent bloke though does Gordon, for a politician, always seems like the sort of bloke you could take to the pub and have a half with, it wouldn't be long before he started waffling on about economics of course and you'd have to leave him in the best room on an excuse that you needed to visit the toilet while you sneaked into the tap room for the rest of the night, but he seems like a half decent bloke.

Politicians are such wankers though, the House of Commons was full of course as they all knew it would be live on TV and wanted to be seen, Tony (Blair) and John (Prescott) were sat either side of Gordon and occasionally seemed to be laughing and chatting to someone across the room to them, even while Gordon was on his feet talking, and his speech was constantly interrupted by loud guffaws and shouts from both sides of the house, ignorant bastards all of them, can't even wait for ten minutes while the bloke finishes his speech, if I was Gordo I'd have let the first few interruptions go then told them to shut the fuck up or I wouldn't tell them what was in the speech and they'd only find out when they went to the post office next week to tax their large cars.

Which reminds me, something I saw on screen during Gordo's speech seemed to suggest to me that both my car and Suzannes car wouldnt be quite so expensive to tax this year - I couldn't care less about my car because the contract hire company pay for the tax, but would you believe that I just taxed Suzannes car online last fekkin night, I'll not be best pleased if I find that I've paid over the odds just because she was so bloody impatient to get it done.

All this accountancy stuff is way, way beyond my powers of patience, accountants just bore the pants off me and their work nullifies any energy source I have every time I have to read a balance sheet. It will soon be time to trip down to our own accountants and sit their while he drones on about our fiscal year, our profit and loss sheet, the incredibly boring balance sheet and the tax commitments for next year, after ten minutes or so I am just an empty shell that is simply hearing the words but making no sense, my brain slowly closes down in order to avoid stupification and my head nods or shakes at random in response to various questions until he stops talking and I figure it must be time to leave.

We usually drive away from our annual meeting with the accountant in silence while our three brains reboot in the fresh air, then someone will say "so did we make a profit then" or "did he say how much the tax bill is this year" or "what day is it", no doubt accountnats all over the country will be orgasmic in excitement today and positively leaping from the rooftops with glee in Canary Wharf, but here in the rest of the real world it all boils down to "how much on cigs, how much on beer, did you see Alistair Darlings smug fukkin face on the front row ?"