Saturday, September 29, 2007

Its another quiet weekend...

I'm inspired by Whit over at HoneaExpress to write about the poo side of life too, even though in our house the poo days are still funny - to me anyway - so this is me opening my soul in a manly stylee...

Thats my wife on the left, in my self penned portrait of her this weekend, she is in a big sulk with me this weekend, again.

This is how the big sulks start out in our house...

...but first let me explain, I have known this woman for 27 years and for all of that time I have known that I can make her lose her temper like "that" (I'm clicking my fingers once right now), just lke that, as quick as that, I've known for 27 years that her temper is short, for 27 years I've likened her temper to one of those big fireworks that you take out of the box and with a sinking heart you realise that its been manufactured all wrong and the fuse has fallen down inside the tube leavi
ng just the tiniest piece of blue paper to light.

And you stand and stare at the big firework with the one second fuse and you know, you just know that you should throw it away, you know if you attempt to light it then its going to explode in your face, you know that for sure but you stand and stare at it and you think, "if I'm really, really carefull, if I sort of stand to one side, then ..." and even though you know you shouldn't, you light the match and you gently hold it underneath the fuse, it lights and instantly it explodes in your face just like you knew it would,

Well, my wifes temper is just like that firework, always has been. this is how the big sulks start in our house...

Initially I am never involved, initially its never anything to do with me, but ultimately its always my fault and its always me who's the target of the three or even five day sulk, Friday night was a classic example. Friday night Jodie was out at her boyfriends but she hadn't told us when she was coming home, Amanda was out but she's old enough now not to have to ring in every hour, Jodie is different, she has to check in and let us know when she is coming home, she didn't.

You'd think that was her fault wouldn't you ?
You'd be wrong, it was apparently my fault (shrugs shoulders).

I had my mobile phone thrown at me at around 9pm and was told in a semi-annoyed way to ring Jodie and find out where she was, I rang, there was no answer, I sent her a text, there was no answer, ten minutes later Amanda came into the house and two minutes after that I heard the pair of them arguing in the other room - Amanda was taking some of the flak for Jodies non-appearance, I lay low, I don't stand between the females in this house when they row, I get into enough trouble by not getting involved to know that they would probably kill me if I did get involved.

They went quiet after a while and during that time Suzanne managed to speak to Jodie on the phone, after a few more minutes of peace I reckoned the worst was over so I tiptoed into the room wher
e they were watching some crap on TV and sat down.

Thirty seconds passed before I gently asked the obvious question, "what did Jodie say "

Remember the firework and the one second fuse ?

It blew up in my face.

I took a barrage right across my bows, a full blown rant on how I should have contacted her and how blah, blah,blah - I wasn't listening at this point, I have an automatic shut-down during firestorms like this, ears close, mouth is locked tight and brain engages a short film of something more interesting instead as long as its not funny, I cannot be sitting there during a barrage and then start laughing at something thats
just run across my brain, for that would result in certain death.

I sat there with a short film show inside my head of me painting in the sun on our last holiday to Menorca until a slamming door signalled an end to the tantrum and a beginning of the silence, time will tell whether this is a three or five day sulk, I'm going for a five day one for yesterday (saturday) I did not do one of the jobs around the house that I said I was going to do - thats the best bit of these sulk weekends, I don't have to do anything because the sulk means that she wont talk to me.

Ironically these sulks are never extended to the two daughters, yesterday they were spoken to perfectly normally even though it was them who started it all, its just me that gets the sulk.

Still, it means that I get to paint in peace and yesterday afternoon instead of purchasing and fitting three new bedroom doors like I was scheduled to do so, I went out with camera in hand to take some more landscapes and fiddle with my new panorama stiching software (see result below), so its not all bad.

Five day, I reckon this is a five day one.


Ms Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gary said...

I had a look for 30 seconds, it does seem to be a gathering point for those who would have been locked away for their own protection 40 years ago, but then again chat rooms aen't my thang so maybe they're all like that ?

Ms Jones said...

Thanks....Its recently changed... but I suspect the Nutters have taken over... Bi-Polar Cukoos Nest..
Just waiting for JACK Nick to appear for their day out..
Thanks again..

Ms Jones said...

I suppose giving them access to the Internet, saves on Medication and Therapee... The only problem is, people at the receiving end.. lol
Nuff Said.

Amelia said...

Don't show her the portrait.

Gary said...

Thanks for the tip, she's thawing a little, it may only be a three day sulk, the test will come shortly as she's made a huge beef and ale pie, if I get some of it then theres definitely a thaw, if not theres some old cheese in the fridge and I saved a slice of bread from last week somewhere.

Gary said...

I got pie.

Therefore I declare this three day one over.