Saturday, September 29, 2007

Its a right crime hotspot is this...

This area in which I live, this district, its a right crime hotspot it is.

We have a free monthly booklet pushed through the door every, erm, month, I say booklet because magazine is too grand a word for it, its a booklet, A5 sized, 30 pages of adverts and some local gossip...

...and a monthly article by our very own community police superintendent who without fail uses the same Word document every month to urge us to lock our doors and report all crimes no matter how small, for here in this area of this great city we have a zero tolorance on everything, everything, the police get called out for spitting, throwing cigarette butts on the floor, murder, anything,

This month there has been a terrible tsunami of crime in the district as our favourite community police superintendant reports that a car was stolen from an unlocked garage and left burnt out in a far more crime ridden district of the city, fancy that, how awful.

A woman reported being kicked at a bus stop, how awful too.

And we are being urged to look for a set of door keys as an old man lost them probably on Green Lane, how awful.

And thats it, three crimes reported last month then.

Oh, wait a minute, there is a stop press - an uninsured car was seized by an eagle-eyed officer too, so remember folks, lock your doors and insure your cars and maybe we can start to make redundancies at Weetwood Police Station from next month onwards...


John_D said...

Well I had my car broken into yesterday. Silly feckers didn't take anything, despite there being quite a bit of stuff in it. They just made a mess of a door, the steering and ignition.
Still, the insurers say that once it's repaired they'll wash and vac it. That on it's own is worth more than my premium.

Gary said...

We have one car on the company books that we require stealing, we have GAP insurance and everything on it so it would be a big favour if it disappeared throgh the night, or day.

It nearly got taken last week - the employee who uses it had his house broken into by scrotes looking for car keys but the fool had hidden them and our car was on the bottom of his drive just waiting for them to take it.