"They weren't for me" I explained, "Oh no, not for me at all, they were for Suzanne, honest they were"
My brother, peering over my shoulder at my email inbox clearly didn't believe me and he clutched his ribs as another spasm of laughter racked through his torso.
They were for Suzanne, they really were, its all the gym's fault.
She and a friend of hers had signed up for an aerobics class just after xmas and for the last three weeks she's been extollig the virtues of salsa-cise, a sort of, well, salsa-based exercise I suppose.
So much so that two weeks ago she got me to order the Tracey Shaw Salsa-cise dvd, plus, and because "other people who ordered this dvd also ordered this one" she got me to order the Tracey Shaw Salsa-cise part II dvd, total cost £23.99 for the pair, and like a fool I ordered them on my Amazon account.
By the way, Tracey Shaw is the blonde slapper who played some hairdressing character in Coronation Street, she was Ashley's wife until Richard Hilman murdered her, not that I watch Coronation Street of course, oh no, it just explained all of that in the blurb for the Tracey Shaw Salsa-cise dvd, not that I read the sleeve notes for salsa-cise dvd's, oh no - I'll stop digging now, this hole is deep enough.
So two weeks later and suzanne is nagging the life out of me as to why her salsa-cise dvd's haven't come yet, I cuold tell her that the Tracey Shaw Salsa-cise regime didn't exactly set the world on fire and perhaps they've had to get Tracey Shaw to re-record the routines in her front room with a video camera, "Hey Tracey, we've got an order for another dvd, wheres the master copy ?", "I threw it away, it was shit".
And then on Monday I get an email from Amazon to apologise and advise that the Tracey Shaw Salsa-cise dvds could possibly take up to another three weeks to arrive, Tracey has apparently forgotten the routines and they are having to make some more up, Suzanne tells me to "cancel the bloody order".
And so I cancel them and pray to whatever god is in flavour this month that no-one intercepts my email, I check and double check the address and ensure that I haven't accidently forwarded it to everyone else in my address boook, oh the shame of having those few words "Tracey Shaw Salsa-cise dvd" flying around the ethernet with my name associated with it.
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2 comments:
Salsa-cise sounds like it would go great on nachos.
Now thats where you and I agree, I said the same to her when she came home declaring her love for salsa-cise, she just gave me a withering look, that "you're a man, you know less than the dog does" look.
This weeks lesson was apparently based on jitterbug and jive - and we all know who's armed forces we have to blame for introducing into this country in the first place - don't we ?
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