What does god sound like ?

OK, following on from the Norman Kember post, and after various stories in the press, and after reading the Christian Peacemaker Teams web site in order to try and get inside Norman Kember's head, I still have questions ...

I still think that the CPT are a bunch of nutters, thats a statement of opinion of course, not a question, but I needed to say that somewhere.

They are however, nutters who are guided by their faith, undisputed fact.
But just where does their faith come from ?
How does someone like Norman Kember reach the conclusion that it would be a good idea to go into a war zone, a war zone that does not comply to any Geneva Convention rules, with the sole intention of "getting in the way" for a bit ?

George Bush admits freely and without shame that his god told him to invade Iraq.
Tony Blair admits that he has used prayer as guidance in making his decision to accompany George in his quest.


So, my questions are,

1. What does god sound like ?
2. How does he appear to you with all these good ideas ?
3. Why does he tell George and Tony to go to war and then tell Norman to go "get in the way"


Personally I prefer Eddie Izzard's version of what god sounds like, in one of his stand-up routines he describes a conversation between god and jesus where jesus is complaining to his dad about the last time he sent him down to earth, "the bastards nailed me to a fukkin tree for three days, what were you thinking of ?", and for gods voice he uses a James Mason type voice, with.......a...........very........methodical..............and .................precise................syntax.

It fits, James Mason makes a very good god voice, try it next time you watch a James Mason film, preferably not "lolita" because it doesn't really present god in a very good light, lusting after young girls and all that, but something like Salems Lot for example, where he plays the bloke who brings the vampires to....well ok perhaps not that film either, but you get the gist, James Mason has got gods voice sussed.


So did James Masons voice appear inside the heads of George Bush, Tony Blair and Norman Kember ?

Is that how it works ?

Do god-botherers actually hear another voice speaking to them, telling them to do completely crazy things ?

{James Mason voice}
"Hello George, I've got a little job for you, nothing too complicated, are you listening George, yes, good, well its like this George, I need you to invade Iraq, what George, yes I know I told your dad to stop in Kuwait, but I was wrong see, I want you to invade the bastards, and I want you to do it tomorrow George, thank you George, I knew I could rely on you"

and then a short while later...

{James Mason voice}
"Norman, Norman Kember ? Yes you, its you isn't it, Norman. Norman listen to me will you, its god speaking, yes really, no really it is me, what, no jesus is busy, listen to me Norman, Norman are you listening, get up off your knees man, this is important, write this down Norman, I want you to go to Iraq and get in the way for a bit. What Norman, yes Norman I know theres a fucking war on, don't use language like that Norman its not nice, I want you to go there because I can't go back to George and Tony and tell them to stop now, I'd look foolish, I want you to look foolish for me Norman, I want you to go and get yourself kidnapped, yes I know they'll probably kill you Norman, I know that, its a futile gesture is it, yes I know that too Norman, but hey, someone has to go and jesus is a bit pissed off that I used him last time, so its down to you Norman, go on, get yourself off there now, theres a good lad."


Is that it ?
Is that how it happens ?