He's a bit camp, my dog

Because we were away last night we had booked Jake the Retriever, the softest dog in the world, into his favourite kennels, the one with the dog swimming pool (yes really) and the one that breeds Weimaraners - they were excercising at least twenty identical grey ones when I delivered Jake there early Saturday morning.

Went with Jodie to pick him up this afternoon and as we got out of the car several dogs started barking, including two huge Rottweilers who could stand against the fence of their individual runs and see above the screened-in bit, they both started a very deep gruff baying at us and in amongst the bedlam we suddenly saw, in the pen opposite where we had parked, the top of a white hairy head jumping up to look out, which he couldn't quite do, and then, amazingly, two very camp "woofs"

"Thats Jake" I told Jodie.
"No its not" she said.
"It is, I recognise his ears"
"That dog barked, it can't be Jake" (because as everyone knows, Jake never barks)

But it was true, it was Jake, camp bark and all, if we let him choose his own collar he'd probably pick a pink diamante one.

We've often wondered why he never barks, or at least only barks once, just every two or three months, maybe he's embarrassed by his "woof", maybe, and this is more likely, he's just too lazy to bark, barking uses energy, energy which could be far more usefully applied to arranging your bed ready for your next sleep , and quite frankly he's got no reason to bark, everything in his life is just hunky dory, he sleeps on a suede foam filled bed, he gets fed twice a day, he knows how to tell us he needs feeding and he knows how to tell us that he needs to go out into the garden to dump the waste product of the food later - and he sleeps.

Why bother barking when everything else is so perfect ?