Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Would you smote down one of your employees like this ?

I have a little problem with this news story.

In fact its not so much the news story itself, but the whole basis of organised religion.

Poor old Archbishop Lord Dr Hope (that man has an impressive list of titles) has been smote down with a "debilitating illness" which is nothing to laugh or point fun at, I do hope he is OK and that he enjoys his retirement.

Just as a bit of background filler poor old Archbishop Lord Dr Hope is the bloke who used to be the Archbishop of York, which is the second most important job in the Anglican church behind the Archbishop of Canterbury.

OK so its the third most important job in the Anglican church, given that God is the boss first, then possibly his lad Jesus (what does Jesus do in the organisation these days since we nailed him to a tree all those years ago), so maybe the Archbishop of York is a bit further down the pecking order - but hey, its a big job ok ?

But having clawed his way up the corporate tree, no doubt kicking lots of other aspiring Archbishops in the teeth on t he way up, ex-Archbishop Lord Dr Hope stuck out the job for a short while then told God that he couldn't be arsed with all this Archbishop-ery stuff and that he wanted to be a parish priest again.

And God saw that it was so and gave the job to someone who wanted the job much more and he made A-L-D Hope a simple parish priest again.

But as we all know, God can be a right vindictive bas'tad when he wants to be and he has obviously sat and stewed on this one for a long time, who knows, maybe he started recieving prayers from some of the priests that A-L-D Hope kicked in the teeth on the way up, maybe there is a lot of infighting and cats-claws within the Anglican priest business, maybe there is truth in the motto that you shouldn't upset people on the way up as you'll have to meet them again ont he way down - whatever the truth God has seen to it that A-L-D hope does not have the quiet and happy retirement that he wished for himself and has smote him down with a debilitating illness to cope with .

"Ha !" said God, "See how you like that you bas'tad. That'll learn'ya" (for God has spent too long in the Bronx)

And thats where I have the problem with organised religion - as an organisation its just too vindictive for me, the range of punishments meted out to transgressors is so ferocious that the Cosa Nostra would be calling for reforms to their punishment book if they followed the same course.

I once had the misfortune to visit a church - yes just the once - it was the church where we were getting married and the bans were being read - and the vicar, who had been a very nice man when we met him in his house, turned into a raging, spitting, fire-breathing, brimstone-hurling fekking maniac who terrorised the dozen or so old ladies in his congregation by graphically explaining how Gods punishments would rain down on their heads and tear them limb from limb if they didn't sing up a bit when he got to the hymn singing part of his sermon - I left his church absolutely terrified and couldn't sleep for four nights, I still check the sky for falling meteors from on high whenever I swear and I dread to think what will happen to me today after wrtiting this piece.

Have to go to Hull now (God works in mysterious ways) - toodle pip and good fortune.

1 comment:

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