On Sainthood...

Local radio discussion around these parts today is one of sainthood, and in particular the prospective Saint Bob of Knaresborough, a nutter who lived in a cave for 40 years and gave away all his land and possesions to the poor, making him poor and a possible beneficiary for his own altruism.

And it struck me that being a nutter is a principal requirement for being a saint, whether its living in a cave for 40 years when the rest of the world have discovered houses and heat and light that aren't provided by setting fire to something - or simply living on top of a pole for the whole of your life depending on your public to put food in a basket that you lower to the ground every day - hopefully you manage to perform your bodily functions without hitting either the basket or your public.

You've also got to be something of a nutter to allow other people to nail you to a tree and hang you upside down like St Andrew did, all for the sake of saying "yes its a daft story isn't it" when the Romans pointed spears at him and told him to repeat those scurrolous rumours of miracles and suchlike - someone points a spear at you and asks you what happened with those fishes and that bread and your average Joe-in-the-street would just say "I don't know I wasn't there", but not your nutter saint, oh no, he has to go and tell the whole story and then keep repeating it even after they've nailed him to the tree, and hung him upside down :

"Deny your Christ or I'll nail you to a tree",
"OK then"
"Well thats alright, don't let it happen again"
"Sorry"
"Its OK, sorry we caused you so much trouble"
"Cheerio then"
"Bye"


(waits 'till they're around the corner)

"Not"