Travel insurance moans...

I'm buying travel insurance for our annual sojourn to Menorca in August.

I wouldn't bother but Suzanne insists that we have insurance.

I mean, we've been there dozens of times and the plane has never once crashed or anything, we've never lost our baggage on any holiday, even the time when we thought that BA had lost our baggage it turned up a day later sent to our door in its own taxi even, we've never needed medical care on holiday, how many types of ways can you injure yourself laying down for 14 days ?

Well ok, there was last year when Jodie got a bad ear infection from the swimming pool and I had to take her to the local doctor a couple of times, but even then I had to pay in cash and it was less than the insurance policy excess so we couldn't claim, the bastards.

And we are EU citizens so we are entitled to free hospital medical treatment - so what could go wrong eh ?

But she insists.

So I do as I'm told.

She even made me take out insurance when I went to France for three days in March, three fekkin days and I had to be covered for £8million or something equally ridiculous, good job it only cost me £5.

She gave me a leaflet that she'd picked up in Asda for Asda Travel Insurance, a person could live their whole life from birth to death with Wallmart Asda - checked their online quote, £47.

Thats bloody expensive for two weeks lying down.

And it doesn't include baggage cover. Personally I'm not bothered about baggage cover, I hate dealing with insurance company's and I don't want to be one of those families that wander around the resort for ten days of their holidays wearing the same clothes,stinking and complaining that their insurance company hasn't sent any money for new clothes yet - just go buy some new fekkin clothes for gods sake and balls to the insurance.

So I checked online at some other companies, I can get roughly the same cover for £9.75.

I've never heard of the company and I haven't even read the what cover you get for £9.75, probably not much is the answer, but it'll keep her happy unless we ever have to make a claim.

And then right at the end one thing caught my eye - the £9.75 one didn't include "insurance tax", when you added on the insurance tax it came to £39.95 - what the fuck is all that about then ?

The UK government slaps a massive tax bill on anything that you do that even remotely sounds like you're enjoying yourself - lets face it, the only reason that we're taking out insurance is to pay the medical bills if we're ever run over by a bus while lying down in the sun on our holiday.

Taking out insurance just guarantees that you'll get the hospital treatment that you're actually entitled to get for free as an EU citizen anyway, its just that if your insurance company will pay for it then the Spanish government won't have to claim it back off the UK government, so we're actually doing them a huge fekkin favour by paying for it ourselves and they thank us for that by slapping a £30 tax bill on us.


I sometimes think it would be easier to just hand my pay cheque over to HM Government and ask them to feed and clothe me, it would be much, much easier.