Dear Sir, we've found a new way to make money...

I've got a great letter to write tomorrow, or maybe I'll phone the loan company who have just sent me a letter to tell me that the outstanding balance on my account is £0.00 and they will be charging me £15 for having to send the letter.

I love corporate cock-ups like this, it gives me the opportunity to explain in writing just how fooking useless some of these large corporations are, but in a nice sarcastic way, no foul language, no angry accusations, no threats to go to the nearest TV Watchdog programme, oh no, good old sarcasm wins the day every time.

I can't remember which famous writer (it may have been Oscar Wilde) who penned the phrase "Sir, you have delusions of adequecy" but it often fits the bill when writing kick-arse letters like the one I'm planning.

The funnier thing about these corporations is that they will then try to defend their inadequecies before cancelling their penalty payments instead of just writing "yes we ballsed-up" or laughing with you on the phone, and its usually a middle aged corporate woman that they put on the phone to answer these calls, the sort of woman who seems to have a huge chip on her shoulder because she's not further up the corporate ladder than she feels she should be after 20 years in the company, and maybe she has a point, but shes there to take it all out on you and her lack of humour or common sense makes the situation even funnier.

I think I'll ring them tomorrow instead of writing.