Thats next years holiday sorted then ...

This weekend, like all weekends, the UK Style satellite channel is dominated by the scrumptious Amanda Lamb and her "Place In The Sun" TV programme.

For those too poor to have cable, satellite, or freeview, or for those few people left in the world who have not emigrated to the UK, "Place In The Sun" takes two people to an exotic resort every week and shows them around four or five properties on the pretence that they are actually actively looking to purchase a holiday home in another country.

And its not just Europe that they look in, this mornings programme featured four properties in Barbados and the lucky couple "apparently" and "allegedly" put in an offer on a villa in St James - yes of course they did Amanda, you didn't exactly show us living in their new villa though did you ?

Thereby hangs my plan.

Nobody on "Place In The Sun" ever buys anything. They get a week in a sunny foreign country of their choice and all they have to do is put up with Amanda Lamb (what a chore) for two days and look around four houses, pretending to be all enthusiastic about each of them.

An interview at the end of the show follows where Amanda asks if you've made up your mind about which house you'd choose and whether or not you're going to put an offer in - and if you are like 90% of the people on the programme you'll tell Amanda,

"Well Amanda, we loved the little pink villa on the beach, it really ticked all our boxes and we'd love to buy that one please"

To which Amanda will say,

"Well thats fantastic, so what are you going to do now"

"Well Amanda we're going to go home and think about it"

End of programme.

You've had a free holiday in your own choice of foreign resort and if you're lucky, and if the production company are particularly stupid, you could apply again next year using a slightly different surname and do the whole thing over again.

I just can't wait to see the "Place In The Sun Special Day" when UK Style show "Place In The Sun" back to back all day long and I'm on every episode using a slightly different surname each time in my quest to visit every resort in the world before I die.