Nearly crime-free now

I didn't really mean to do the "Iconic album" post today, I had another topic in mind but sat in front of the computer and couldn't for the life of me think what the hell it was, the "Iconic album" is a great fall-back position though, I'll use that again, and again, and again...

What I really meant to say, and I've just remembered since coming home, is that the area that I live in is almost crime free now.

Harry Potter stuffed a copy of a letter through my door yesterday - what ? Harry Potter ? He's our neighbourhood watch co-ordinator, spitting image of Harry Potter, loves to organise things, he nearly jumped out of his seat with his hand in the air when the neighbourhood watch policeman asked for a co-ordinator, it was only Harry Potter that had his hand up, so he got the job.

Anyway, our friendly policeman in charge of all the neighbourhood watches in this whole area of North Leeds has sent this letter to say that in the previous few months the burglary rate has been dropping dramatically, so that in the last month only ONE burglary has been reported in the whole of his area.

Remember a couple of months ago I got a nice letter form the same nice policeman to say that the scrote who burgled our house back in December '04 had been caught ? ("scrote is my word, the nice policeman wouldn't use a word like scrote to describe a villian, no, I think he said he was a theiving bastard - I'm not being serious again).

Anyway, I reckon its no coincidence that our scrote gets arrested and the crime rate in the whole of the north of Leeds goes down to almost nothing - this is the sort of evidence that should be presented at the scrote's trial, "Yes m'lud, the crime in our patch has dropped to nothing since we arrested the scrote, I mean theiving bastard, I mean accused, so we're pressing your worships for expulsion to an uninhabited and barren island in mid-atlantic, or if your worships please, the death penalty, thank you".

Its all they deserve, our particular scrote showed an amazing lack of brain activity during our burglary, leaving so many clues that I had almost solved the crime myself the following morning, if I'd been allowed access to the taxi driver who picked the scrote up after he'd done our house (he called the taxi using my mobile phone and paid for it using my fekking charge card, I ended up paying for the call too), and been allowed to use a big wooden stick to coax the drivers memory along a bit, then I'd have had the scrote trussed up with his ankles padlocked behind his ears within the hour.

One more thing too, Harry Potter mentioned in his letter that apparently this street has a Millenium Street Party fund, we didn't live here during 2000 but the ones who did had a big street party and raised lots of cash for the event, they still have some cash left in the account and Harry Potter wants us to let him know what to do with the cash, I'm forwarding him my account number tonight via email, I do hope its more than £100 thats in the account as the holiday fund is looking a little bare at the moment.