Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Big daft lads

Remember when you were at High School ?

Remember the lads who were good at sport ?

Can you recall if any of them were good academically too ?

No of course you can't.

The ones who were good at sports were the big daft lads, they were never good at maths unless it was adding up their league points, they hadn't a clue about geography unless it was where their next away fixture was, and science was restricted to how to bend a ball in flight.

They were all big, daft, thick lads.

And yet our media acts with shock and outrage when all of these big daft lads come together and go on tour, like for instance the current residence in the carribean by our England cricket team for the cricket world cup (yawn).

Vice captain Freddie Flintoff has had his knuckles rapped, stripped of his vice-captaincy (where will they go for their vice now ?) and suspended for one match for being drunk in charge of a pedelo in the early hours of saturday morning just a day before what was reported as a "vital" game against Canada and hours after being tubbed by New Zealand.

It was further reported that Flintoff had to be rescued from the sea by hotel staff after he drunkenly fell off the pedelo, a fact that he was a bit cagey about at a press conference when he stated that "their had been an incident involving a pedelo and it involved water and I'm sorry", ok Freddie, so you got pissed, stole a pedelo, went for a mini-cruise at 4am and fell off it, its what big daft lads do.

Five other team mates were also reprimanded for being similarly tired and emotional in the early hours of saturday morning and the press reacted in horror that half of the England cricket team could be involved in such shameful antics, conveniently forgetting that most of these lads have only just started shaving, some of them still talk in soprano voices like Jenkins of the third form, and of course, they are all big daft lads - frankly they don't give a flying fekk about "the honour" of representing their country, they play cricket all day long, get paid, go on the lash - its a great life for a big daft lad.

Especially when you're doing it in the carribean.

We have a drunkard playing cricket for our country.

I'm mortally ashamed, no really I am.

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