Thursday, May 03, 2007

A cure for insomnia

The national media take on serious mode in England today as they try and pretend that the rest of us give a damn about our local council elections that take place all over the country.

Its like the general election for government, but instead involves voting for your local nosey parker and know-all so that he/she can represent you at your local city/town council meetings - where they achieve very little except to draw expenses and bitch all night long about the state of dustbins or whether or not Leeds needs a select committee of councillors on additional expenses to discuss some obscure topic that bears no relation to anyone in the city whatsoever.

So apathetic is the response to local elections that the outcome and resultant political flavouring of the councils is totally unpredictable, I could stand for election myself on the premise that I want free chocolate and beer for everyone, I want my street re-tarmaced and I want my old neighbour who kept a farmyard full of fowl in his back garden to be jailed without parole and his chickens strangled, plucked and delivered to my freezer toorrow morning - and I'd probably win on that manifesto if I could get all my mates to raise their fat arses from their chairs and stroll down to a polling station today, a few dozen votes would probably get me in - with a large majority.

Here in Leeds we have a council of varying political flavours, in fact for many years now there has not been one single party in majority and so they share the prime jobs like "leader of the council" by handing it around all of the political party's for a few months at a time - this status quo is excellent for us ratepayers as it means that our council don't go off on silly spending sprees with a political bias, funding centres for one-legged cyclists with lesbian tendancies for instance, or council tax relief for businesses who have masonic members on their board of directors...

...which isn't such a stupid example as a huge scandal erupted in the 1970's over a land deal involving the Headingley masonic lodge and several (then) current and ex city councillors, many names were smeared and investments lost when the scandal was revealed to the press and I'd love to disclose more details here but the web site that until recently contained the full story has mysteriously disappeared from the ethernet - maybe the Headingley masons still have influence in high places ?

So will I vote today ?

Erm, no.

I have some paint to watch as it dries.

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