Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Everyone gets their day in court,

Everyone gets their day in court, so the story goes - except me - booooo!

I was looking forward to being a witness, perhaps breaking down in the witness box under intense scrutiny from a fierce defence barrister, being offered a glass of water by the kindly judge, then with all the drama I could muster pointing to someone in the gallery and shouting out "it was him what did it and no mistake m'lud"

New, clean shirt for the second day running, even a matching tie, I scrub up very well you know, and as I walked to the steps of the combined court complex in Leeds I took a phone call, right outside the doorway...

"Its off" said the solicitor who had entangled me in this web of legal-eeze, "they've backed down and settled out of court last night"

Bugger thought I, I'll never get to see the inside of a courtroom at this rate, but still, this witness thing was worth a bob or two in expenses and all I had to do was look willing to stand up and say what I'd been told to say, I asked the solicitor if he had any more cases that he needed a willing witness for but that didn't go down very well, we bade each other goodbye.

So, nothing to talk about then.

Apart from,

Apart from the fact that I left the car at the office this morning and took the bus into Leeds as parking for a whole day in court would have meant taking out a mortgage as opposed to the return bus fare of £3.50.

Thats the second time this year that I've been on a public transport bus, I constantly amaze myself by doing things like this, ordinary things that ordinary people do as a matter of course but which I just never get round to - taking a public transport bus would never have crossed my mind until this year and prior to 2007 it must have been 30 years since I last used one - you got on at the back and they had conductors I seem to remember and there is no truth that a horse was pulling the last one I used either.

The one today was a bendy-bus, the ones that bend like a, well like a bendy thing when they go around corners so that they can make them longer and seat more people and so that unsuspecting people who stand on the turntable thing in the middle find themselves facing in the wrong direction after severe corners.

And how punctual are they ?

Well I don't know actually but on the way into Leeds I only waited for five minutes and on the way back when I was stood on the pavement wondering where the bus stop was for my service the bendy bus just appeared in front of me as if by some harry potter inspired spell, doors opened and I stepped aboard - now thats what I call service.

They even provide newspapers in them, apparently, well ok, so someone had left their newspaper on the seat, maybe it was the drivers and he'd put it there for his next break, hope he didn't mind me doing the crossword for him.

I was impressed, not enough to abandon my car completely, and if all four of us want to go into Leeds I can certainly do it much cheaper than the £14 that it would cost us on the bus, but still, £3.50 and I've got a huge wodge of money left from my court expenses with which to be frivolous as is my want.

Hard news day tomorrow.

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