Just how long do you need to be in to win ?

Remember back in November when I sent off my 1950's Premium Bond to the National Savings and Investments people ?

It was bought for me when I was nobbut a wairn by GeorgeJews, my dads elderly billiards mentor (full story on the jerrychicken biog site) and has been in the monthly draw since 1959 - thats a draw every month where thousands of numbers are extracted from the database by a steam driven government computer who's only task since 1957 has been to draw the numbers once a month.

The nice people at the NS&I place in Blackpol advised me that the bond was indeed registered to me personally, so that was a relief as I'd been worried that if it was registered to my dad then I'd have to share my fortune of all the wins down the ages with my brother, but now it was all mine.

Well they could have told me how much its won I thought, so I went onto the NS&I web site where you can type in your account number and check all of the prize draws since Noah was a lad, just what I need I thought, I'll do that straight away I thought, except that the nice people at the NS&I office hadn't told me my account number, bollax.

Its how civil servants work you see, I hadn't asked them for my acount number so they didn't tell me, I asked them if it was still a "live" bond and if it was in my name, they answered those questions but didn't then go on to think "well maybe he'l need his account number too".

So I worte to the nice people at the NS&I office in Blackpool again and this time I asked them for my account number.

The letter came back today - it tells me what my account number is.

The letter also tells me that my premium bond has not won anything.

So thats 48 years that its been in the draw and its won nothing, nada, zip, zippo, nilch, fook.....all.

I knew I was unlucky, if I play the national lottery I get excited if I get one number on my ticket, when the national lottery first started I had this great plan to buy ten tickets and put every numer in the draw on them so that I was bound to win something, after all if you've got all the numbers on yoru tickets then you must win something mustn't you ?

The answer is no, I won fook.....all that day too, I had six of the ten tickets with one number on each.

But surely, surely if you enter a numer in a prize draw and leave that number in the prize draw for forty fookin eight fookin years then surely, for christ sake, surely you have to win something ???

Even one pound would be a start, its cost me 60p in fookin stamps just to find out I've been conned for 48 years.

I wonder if the Guinness Book of World Records are interested in my feat ?

"The worlds unluckiest raffle ticket"