Wanted - Story with dramatic headline

I need a story, a dramatic story with an equally dramatic headline to feed to ITV News, I just have this ambition to see a story of mine get the headline act on News at Ten.

It doesn't have to be true, it doesn't have to be feasible, it can be a story that even two year old kids in day care nursery will listen to then scream "bullshit" at the tv screen, it doesn't matter, if its dramatic and it has a dramatic headline then ITV News will publish.

Fellow Rhinos fan and blogger Michael over at "View from the bar" has described the current ITV News hypocrisy far too perfectly well for me to snaffle his lines, so have a read then come back...



...ok ?

Well they've gone one better than that, right here.

According to ITV some scientists in a self-proclaimed group called the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists, (no, me neither), have nudged their own invention, a Doomsday Clock, two minutes further on towards midnight so that it now stands at (according to ITV News) just "Five Minutes to Armageddon".

Why ? Who ? What ? Where ?
Can there be a more pointless piece of self publicity ?
Can there be a more pointless piece, full stop ?

Who are these people, what do they aim to achieve, why do they seek publicity with a silly little gimmick like a "Doomsday Clock" ?

What is the significance of five minutes ?
Does a minute represent 50 years, 10 years, one year, one minute ?

Who is the threat ?
What is the threat ?

You see I am nobody's news editor, place me in the news editors chair at ITV News and tell me to edit tonights bulletin and I'd be crap at the job - but if one of my reporters handed me the piece that you can see in the link (above) then those are just some of the questions that I'd be firing at him after just a few seconds thought, the last question would be "do you know where to pick up your P45 on the way out of the building ?"

The story is a pile of crap, the world has lived with a nuclear threat of one sort or another since 1945 and will continue to live with the threat that we have the capability to blow each others arses to kingdom come if we wish and the eaisest way to stop other people doing it to us is to have one ourselves and stop a third party getting hold of the recipe.

Global warming is said to be just as big a threat as a nuclear armageddon, well, no it isn't - warm winters aren't going to wipe out an area the size of Yorkshire in ten seconds flat, some ice melting at the south pole will not cast a cloud of radiation over the southern hemisphere that will contaminate all of our food supplies for 50 or more years, its not as bad as all that - personally I'm enjoying this tropical winter that we've found ourselves in, I haven't had to scrape the ice of the car so far and thats just fine and dandy by me.

So, where do I start ?

Story with a dramatic headline wanted.