Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Manchester gets the casino

There's a news item today that I just don't understand.

At 11am HM Government announced that the licence for the UK's first "Super Casino" would be granted to the bid made from the city of Manchester, which apparently came as a big suprise to the citizens of sleazy Blackpool who thought that their shit hole of a town had the required attributes to sustain an atmosphere of gangland violence and mob rule that goes hand in hand with casino's in works of fiction, and I agree with them.

Greenwich were also rather shocked that no-one else in the country wants to know about their fekkin dome anymore let alone play roulette in it, it really is about time that they tore it down and tore it up into pieces large enough to provide every Scout and Guide group with a jambouree tent.

But its not the location of the "super casino" thats puzzling me, its the concept of a "super casino". You see we have casinos a-plenty in this country and where a particluar city (like Leeds for instance) has created a demand for gambling tables, then more casinos have been built, we aren't really starved of casinos in this country - so why "super casino" ?

Well, apparently a "super casino" is one in which more than 1200 unlimited jackpot fruit machines, one armed bandits, pokkies or whatever other quaint nom-de-plume other countries have for the "put money in here, stare for a bit, put more money in here" machines.

Artists impressions show several floors full of gambling machinery, card and roulette tables, glitzy lighting, luxurious seating, hotels, fine restaurants, prostitutes, valet car parking for all the mercedes - actually they don't show the prostitutes in the artists impressions, but the rest of it looks very glitzy, very James Bond, very 1970's Martini advert.

And thats the bit that I don't understand.

I just don't understand where all of their customers come from, and I'm sure the place will be very popular, but where on earth do all of these fools and fekkwits live who will get dressed up for a night out at the "super casino", fill their wallets up with money from their own bank and credit card accounts, then walk in through the glitzy front door, look around and think "oooh this looks like a place that gives back more money than it takes off us"

I mean, who in their right mind believes that they will actually manage to walk away from a casino or bookmakers shop on any sort of consistent basis with more money int heir pockets than when they walked in ?

Obviously enough of them to make it worthwhile, never has the saying "a fool and his money are soon parted" been more true, nor "there's one born every minute", nor "look around you, you fekkwit, who do you think pays for all this gold and glamour ?"

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