Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Nuts, all of them, nuts...

Had a weird thing happen last night.

Sat and watched Monty Pythons "Life of Brian" until just after 11pm and then decided to retire to my bed, leaving just Amanda downstairs working on one of her "A" Level projects.

11.30pm I heard a knock at the door, a sort of loud and frantic knock, so of course I left it. The knock came again, louder and more frantic this time, I got up to answer the door.

Met Amanda in the hallway, she'd checked the cctv monitor, she didn't recognise the two people that were banging on the door outside.

I opened the door as wide as I could, with a hallway full of junk ready to go to the tip after we'd spent all day emptying the loft ready for the house move it wasn't easy, and there stood our two next door neighbours looking extremely worried, soaking wet in the lashing rain and gale force wind - I thought they were going to tell me that their house had blown down or something of an equal gravity.

"Our rabbits missing" our neighbour informed me, "can we look in your garden"

I stared at him for a long time and pondered on how to phrase "are you fucking nuts ?" in a more polite way, it came out as "I'll open the garden gate for you, wait there".

So there I was onthe other side of our securely locked garden gate, 11.30 at night, in wind and lashing rain, in shorts and a t-shirt, trying to find the key to unlock the garden gate - I'd made it so secure a couple of years ago after a burglary that I couldn't find the right key in the dark so eventually I let them in to the garden by letting them tramp through the house, me with my "I don't quite belive this is happening" look on my face and Amanda falling about laughing while trying to hang onto Jake so that he didn't get out into the garden on a rabbit hunt of his own.

I need to explain that our neighbours have had this rabbit (that looks remarkably like the on in the picture) for about five years and let it roam their garden freely in the belief that it won't roam away if they feed it regularly, its always finding its way into our garden and Jake often chases it back through the hedge.

This time though it appears as though its gone for a much longer stroll and they failed to find any trace of it last night, hardly suprising of course, the only real question is "why wait until midnight to start looking you fekking idiots".

As I let them out of the house, still trying to think of polite chit-chat to save me questioning their sanity, I almost found myself telling them about the fox that I'm convinced that we have living underneath one of our sheds - Jake seems convinced that theres something under there anyway - but I didn't think it would be quite appropriate last night.

So what with rabbit lovers living on one side and the fekking idiot pigeon man and his menagery of everything feathered living on the other side, we're living in a proper nuthouse at the moment, I hope the people who are buying the house from us like rabbits and birds because we'll be well out of it by then.

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